The Brink

It's only on the brink that people find the will to change.

There is something wrong about this particular headline for this article:

Walmart Out Of Guns As Americans Race For Arms After Newtown

A few days ago, a crazed just-out-of-his-teens gunman gunned down some kids in an elementary school in Connecticut. It's odd that some people in the first world country have access to things like that... they have access because the Republicans say, Hey! the criminals have guns - we have to protect ourselves... reminds me of Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino. So, some people believe that finally, the US will be forced to do something about the sale of semi-automatic and automatic weapons...

A few days ago, a girl was 'gang-raped' in a moving bus in, where else, Delhi while her boyfriend/ friend was attacked. Some of the suspects have been caught and have supposedly pleaded guilty to some crimes. 

Now, rapes have been a part of Indian history for a long time; fortunately, women's rights have grown off late and the stigma attached to rape and to a girl's 'izzat' or honour have given way to women demanding that they be respected and that Indian men learn how to respect a lady.

My belief is that South India has, in general, been better at this than North India; there are historical, cultural and educational reasons for this. Anyway, we are now witnessing massive outrage across India and especially in Delhi with respect to the police and the administration's apathy.

Experiences are littered with the police themselves being lecherous, may be because people in power often feel powerful (obvious as it may seem), and with general apathy in addition to a social incarceration of the lady/ girl/ woman who has been molested or raped. 

What is it about the male human that makes him want to assert his dominance and fulfill his sexual urges which find an outlet within minutes? Is it that some humans are incapable of respecting another's life? I also believe that our social and cultural upbringing plays a massive role in who we grow up to become...

When Indian movies have been glamourising rape, molestation, the passing of lewd remarks and the objectification of women with terms such as 'chhamiya', 'chhmakchhallo', 'maal' - what is the viewing populace to believe? Then again, why do movies do this? May be they pick it up from social reality? There was a time, in Mumbai, when it was considered reasonable for a guy to whistle at an attractive looking girl - luckily, the Mumbai girl has become self-righteous or may be the guys in questions have been shamed to believing that such behaviour is not acceptable. 

In North India, there is something such as 'tot' - which I think is used when refering to a girl who looks attractive. I had seen this video some months ago and was horrified that while I found it amusing, it was also quite disturbing - how is society capable of accepting something like... "Mast kudi hai... uttha lengey." "Really nice girl... we will pick her up."

All in all, I believe that a society which tolerates untoward behaviour will spawn people who believe in the objectification of women and who are not afraid of showcasing their muscle power through threats like, "Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai." Mumbai-ites often make fun of such Delhi behaviour because we fail to understand how such a vast society could behave in such a way... It is wrong of me to compare Mumbai to Delhi when Mumbai too has plenty of drawbacks.

In Singapore, drug-traffickers are threatened with capital punishment. It is a form of legal deterrent. The threat of being able to execute such a sentence would prevent people from indulging in anti-social behaviour.

In India, there has been a gradual degradation of order in society because capitalism and nepotism has allowed those in power to throw their weight around - richer folk get off with murder, while the poorer are beaten up by the police for petty thieving.

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And what is with the sexual starvation throughout the country? Why is the word 'condom' censored on TV at times? A society which is as diverse as India's cannot be governed by one set of social regulators.

After all this, I often wonder why people are hell bent on producing kids in a country which does not value them. And after the kids have been popped out, why must the upbringing be so poor, where a girl will rarely feel safe and a guy will be sexually stoked, where the law is subjective, where bureaucrats and government officials have the liberty of pushing us about. It is sad enough for a man to witness a loved one be teased, touched, molested or raped - imagine what parents go through when their own children are not safe. Not safe, not because of their own behaviour (I refer to the first world where people indulge in unlawful activities for fun) but because of the behaviour of somebody else who sees no harm in inflicting fear and pain on another...

Power

Brute force used to be strength in the olden days, and this was across all living life. There was also strength in the threat of force, the threat of ruin, the threat of damnation.
Capitalism changed things. It brought disparity and the sense of achievement; the thought that one could rise up the ranks regardless of genes - and it was a noble concept. Simultaneously, there was communism. For certain reasons, communism died and capitalism thrived; capitalism spread throughout the planet with small tumors of socialism within communities/ countries.

A few days ago, I was travelling by autorickshaw to my dentist and at the signal junction I saw a filthy man, clothed and on the ground. He was drunk out of his mind (or high); there was nobody there to help him. And I thought to myself, 'shouldn't I help him?' And then my thoughts went through a torrent of information.... may be the guy might hurt me if I try to help him... why should I help someone who does not care for himself? Why is he in this state? No, I don't want to help him because I have a life to take care of and that is my own. When I returned to that spot 2 hours later, he was still there. Passed out or dead. I did not care.

Yesterday, a person whom I know was driving his car and a drunk guy fell on the car while crossing the road. My friend was scared and luckily the madding crowd was not too mad yesterday - they told the cops that my friend was not at fault. Bureaucracy ensued and after a while, my friend left the scene. But it haunts him and it haunts me.

It is unfathomable, how one would feel if one knocks a guy over while driving. It is a classic case of rich v/s poor, the haves v/s the have-nots.

There is something wrong in this world where a human can spend USD 20 on a meal and drinks and another can't afford USD 2 on a meal. People in power do all that they can to stay in power and people who don't have the power will do near anything to attain that power. That is capitalism and that is the current state of affairs. Luckily, people have started caring about the less unfortunate - it's a start.

I am continually haunted by the quality of life, which, after 100s and 1000s of years of change is, may be, at its peak and yet, there are people who do not have access to clean water, clean food and sanitation. May be this world has had enough of humans.

For now, I continue living my life. I am lucky to be alive and healthy but I can't come to terms with the power of the powerful. A civil uprising should be at hand...

Susegaad

"15 years ago, you should've seen Goa - it was actual Susegaad... things are different now man." This is what Patrick said to me as he drove me on his scooter from his hotel to my friend's hotel; I had my big suitcase in my lap while I saw Goa fly past me.
"We would walk in the fields, go fishing, people would pay when they liked, sleep when they liked... it was really nice. I don't know what you guys do in Bombay..."
"Work all day, no time for sunlight, no time for the waves, no time to spend the money, more money than is needed and everything is expensive there...".

A cabbie by the name of Ashok who drove me from Ashwem to Mapusa was saying the same stuff... "Every 5 minutes you have a traffic light, no place to walk... people from Goa can never live there and you guys can never live here."

An unknown semi-American dude told me, "Man, I was with my friends from Bombay the other day, they are just so adverse."

Ravi, the clothes salesman told me as we sipped on chai while seated on the stony floor, "You see this tree, this was a sapling when I put up my stall and I thought what's the use of cutting it... see how big it has become now." (He was speaking about a 3 year young coconut tree). "And you see that one, that is at least 7 years old."

I sat on the rocks at 7 am on my last day at Goa and I watched a few crabs hurry about.
I saw a bright orange and green comet/ shooting star as big as the moon one night.
I saw clouds merge over my head.
I saw a storm gather over the ocean in the distant.
And I said to myself, what a wonderful world it is, wasted as we stay in our concrete confines.

Needs, Morals and Questions

What would you do if you were to meet the 'maker'? God?
I would ask him to play chess with me, and if I win - I can be God. I'm sure I could beat him at Chess...

The outrageous amount of food that had infested my stomach did not allow me to make a sound while I lost control of myself while laughing, hence I had to reel from side to side and bang my fist on the table.

Well, I would have asked him whether the cow as a holy animal was your idea or was it the Hindu human's idea... coz damn, it's a sin not to have good access to good beef. Sigh.

So, what is it that we need?
Food, sleep, freedom, air.
Better roads would be good.
So would better people.
A walk away from the city would be nice too.
I have a problem with humans. I don't understand the unquenchable need for dominance which may be manifested in ways such as sex, torture, murder, molestation, disrespect, oppression.
One would assume that a human is just another creature that lives on the Earth but the nature of (hah, 'nature'!) our ability to control and influence sets us apart. I believe that humans no longer need hair, weak backs, nails, etc. Our rapid transformation has changed the way we use our bodies and hence we have messed with evolution.
In that process, we have not lost how the amygdala functions and that is just one of the things that ruins our behaviour in a very different world of the 21st century. May be it makes sense to be carnal and detached. May be it makes sense to be utterly selfish in a Galt sort of way. It makes sense to utilise our human resources towards more forms of research just for the fun of it instead of earning money which ceases to have meaningful utility beyond a certain point.

I want to travel. I want to write. I want to eat interesting food. Meet interesting people. Drink an interesting form of alcohol. Engage in an affair with an incredibly hot woman, preferably non-human. And yes, I would be OK with dying before I get to do any of that.

Why is it wrong to rape a woman whereas it is acceptable to see a dog raping a bitch? Raping female humans was not wrong 3000 + years ago. Marrying more than one female was also not wrong, not so long ago. Beating up women was also not wrong. Morals have changed.
What Hitler did is so ghastly even now for the Western world, but not so much for many parts of the Eastern World and I would think that many Africans would think of it as a much better way to die than in stories they have heard.
We tend to associate ourselves with certain forms of humans. If a woman was raped in a Middle Eastern country and a woman was raped in Sweden - the reactions to both stories would be vastly different even though both women are equally unknown to the reader in Indonesia.

Why are Saudi Arabians becoming obese? Why are many Africans frail? Why are women not interested in creating children? Why are men attracted to other men? What happened to all the painters and musicians? What is the utility of living life as a stock-trader? Why do some humans lose interest in sex? Why are some humans interested in having sex with children? Why do humans work multiple hours a day in less-than-contentment when they have sufficient money to live a good life? Why do people get married when marriage is a god-related institution and god-itself is perceived to be a myth by many humans? Why are there more temples/ shrines than public urinals in India? Why do we accept atrocities of the mental kind? What is wrong about breaking a human relationship? How does it matter if society does not see the good in you, when you know yourself to be fabulous? Why should we tip at the end of a meal when a tip before the meal makes more sense in terms of incentivizing the server?

I have many questions but I don't need answers to many of them. I have one life and I refuse to play along. But I secretly do.

Sense

"All you seem to be doing is enjoying life!" - She said this with contempt based on a social acceptance that one needs to struggle through life and 'earn' the good stuff. All I could think of in response to that statement was, "What else is there?"

Reminds me of a friend who is now dead; he always seemed to be on the move - doing something new or exciting every other weekend. When I see myself not living up to the same kind of life it hurts at times, although I am pleased with the gradient of my progress. Cocoons are for caterpillars. Humans are for the Earth.