Why must I live in Mumbai?

We don't like change, we tend to prefer that with which we are accustomed. I was born in Mumbai and have been living here for more than 25 years - which reminds me that I am getting older - and oddly, I can't think of another place where I would happily move to... Sure, I may think in dreamy terms of a better city, but the massive upheaval that would ensue were I to move away is quite daunting.

This city is bursting at its seams, in-seams and even through the patchwork and fabric that makes this city what it is. Quality of life is rather poor on an absolute scale and one wonders why one ought to keep living in a city with which one is so familiar. Sure, there is great comfort in knowing one's surroundings, sub-culture and the general pace and flow of things.

But I want the ability to cycle at 6 pm on a Sunday. It's a simple desire, which if unmet will leave me mildly pricked, nothing more.
The industrial age norm of working 9 am to 5 pm has somehow transformed itself to 9 am to 7 pm because of an overpopulated and hyper-competitive country - and people take it for granted because there really is nothing that one can do to challenge that; it's how the capitalist system works. Survival of the fittest.
A repercussion of a long work day and a Saturday being included as a work day is a spill-over effect on people who work fewer hours - they are envied, ridiculed and laughed at. And that is OK. But it is poisonous. It is akin to straight people looking at gay people and saying that the gays are wrong. Funnily, it works the other way round too.

But why is it so difficult to think of leaving one's home? One's 'own' city?
I want to.
For a peaceful neighbourhood, for proximity to nature, for a more sparsely populated city, where individual rights are respected, where I can feel safe with whoever my family will be, where power is relatively even and it is still a city.

Don't know how people can afford a 2 Cr home here and be afraid of moving to a smaller, cheaper, nicer city? I have the question, don't have the answer.

The Brink

It's only on the brink that people find the will to change.

There is something wrong about this particular headline for this article:

Walmart Out Of Guns As Americans Race For Arms After Newtown

A few days ago, a crazed just-out-of-his-teens gunman gunned down some kids in an elementary school in Connecticut. It's odd that some people in the first world country have access to things like that... they have access because the Republicans say, Hey! the criminals have guns - we have to protect ourselves... reminds me of Clint Eastwood from Gran Torino. So, some people believe that finally, the US will be forced to do something about the sale of semi-automatic and automatic weapons...

A few days ago, a girl was 'gang-raped' in a moving bus in, where else, Delhi while her boyfriend/ friend was attacked. Some of the suspects have been caught and have supposedly pleaded guilty to some crimes. 

Now, rapes have been a part of Indian history for a long time; fortunately, women's rights have grown off late and the stigma attached to rape and to a girl's 'izzat' or honour have given way to women demanding that they be respected and that Indian men learn how to respect a lady.

My belief is that South India has, in general, been better at this than North India; there are historical, cultural and educational reasons for this. Anyway, we are now witnessing massive outrage across India and especially in Delhi with respect to the police and the administration's apathy.

Experiences are littered with the police themselves being lecherous, may be because people in power often feel powerful (obvious as it may seem), and with general apathy in addition to a social incarceration of the lady/ girl/ woman who has been molested or raped. 

What is it about the male human that makes him want to assert his dominance and fulfill his sexual urges which find an outlet within minutes? Is it that some humans are incapable of respecting another's life? I also believe that our social and cultural upbringing plays a massive role in who we grow up to become...

When Indian movies have been glamourising rape, molestation, the passing of lewd remarks and the objectification of women with terms such as 'chhamiya', 'chhmakchhallo', 'maal' - what is the viewing populace to believe? Then again, why do movies do this? May be they pick it up from social reality? There was a time, in Mumbai, when it was considered reasonable for a guy to whistle at an attractive looking girl - luckily, the Mumbai girl has become self-righteous or may be the guys in questions have been shamed to believing that such behaviour is not acceptable. 

In North India, there is something such as 'tot' - which I think is used when refering to a girl who looks attractive. I had seen this video some months ago and was horrified that while I found it amusing, it was also quite disturbing - how is society capable of accepting something like... "Mast kudi hai... uttha lengey." "Really nice girl... we will pick her up."

All in all, I believe that a society which tolerates untoward behaviour will spawn people who believe in the objectification of women and who are not afraid of showcasing their muscle power through threats like, "Tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai." Mumbai-ites often make fun of such Delhi behaviour because we fail to understand how such a vast society could behave in such a way... It is wrong of me to compare Mumbai to Delhi when Mumbai too has plenty of drawbacks.

In Singapore, drug-traffickers are threatened with capital punishment. It is a form of legal deterrent. The threat of being able to execute such a sentence would prevent people from indulging in anti-social behaviour.

In India, there has been a gradual degradation of order in society because capitalism and nepotism has allowed those in power to throw their weight around - richer folk get off with murder, while the poorer are beaten up by the police for petty thieving.

___________________

And what is with the sexual starvation throughout the country? Why is the word 'condom' censored on TV at times? A society which is as diverse as India's cannot be governed by one set of social regulators.

After all this, I often wonder why people are hell bent on producing kids in a country which does not value them. And after the kids have been popped out, why must the upbringing be so poor, where a girl will rarely feel safe and a guy will be sexually stoked, where the law is subjective, where bureaucrats and government officials have the liberty of pushing us about. It is sad enough for a man to witness a loved one be teased, touched, molested or raped - imagine what parents go through when their own children are not safe. Not safe, not because of their own behaviour (I refer to the first world where people indulge in unlawful activities for fun) but because of the behaviour of somebody else who sees no harm in inflicting fear and pain on another...

Power

Brute force used to be strength in the olden days, and this was across all living life. There was also strength in the threat of force, the threat of ruin, the threat of damnation.
Capitalism changed things. It brought disparity and the sense of achievement; the thought that one could rise up the ranks regardless of genes - and it was a noble concept. Simultaneously, there was communism. For certain reasons, communism died and capitalism thrived; capitalism spread throughout the planet with small tumors of socialism within communities/ countries.

A few days ago, I was travelling by autorickshaw to my dentist and at the signal junction I saw a filthy man, clothed and on the ground. He was drunk out of his mind (or high); there was nobody there to help him. And I thought to myself, 'shouldn't I help him?' And then my thoughts went through a torrent of information.... may be the guy might hurt me if I try to help him... why should I help someone who does not care for himself? Why is he in this state? No, I don't want to help him because I have a life to take care of and that is my own. When I returned to that spot 2 hours later, he was still there. Passed out or dead. I did not care.

Yesterday, a person whom I know was driving his car and a drunk guy fell on the car while crossing the road. My friend was scared and luckily the madding crowd was not too mad yesterday - they told the cops that my friend was not at fault. Bureaucracy ensued and after a while, my friend left the scene. But it haunts him and it haunts me.

It is unfathomable, how one would feel if one knocks a guy over while driving. It is a classic case of rich v/s poor, the haves v/s the have-nots.

There is something wrong in this world where a human can spend USD 20 on a meal and drinks and another can't afford USD 2 on a meal. People in power do all that they can to stay in power and people who don't have the power will do near anything to attain that power. That is capitalism and that is the current state of affairs. Luckily, people have started caring about the less unfortunate - it's a start.

I am continually haunted by the quality of life, which, after 100s and 1000s of years of change is, may be, at its peak and yet, there are people who do not have access to clean water, clean food and sanitation. May be this world has had enough of humans.

For now, I continue living my life. I am lucky to be alive and healthy but I can't come to terms with the power of the powerful. A civil uprising should be at hand...

Needs, Morals and Questions

What would you do if you were to meet the 'maker'? God?
I would ask him to play chess with me, and if I win - I can be God. I'm sure I could beat him at Chess...

The outrageous amount of food that had infested my stomach did not allow me to make a sound while I lost control of myself while laughing, hence I had to reel from side to side and bang my fist on the table.

Well, I would have asked him whether the cow as a holy animal was your idea or was it the Hindu human's idea... coz damn, it's a sin not to have good access to good beef. Sigh.

So, what is it that we need?
Food, sleep, freedom, air.
Better roads would be good.
So would better people.
A walk away from the city would be nice too.
I have a problem with humans. I don't understand the unquenchable need for dominance which may be manifested in ways such as sex, torture, murder, molestation, disrespect, oppression.
One would assume that a human is just another creature that lives on the Earth but the nature of (hah, 'nature'!) our ability to control and influence sets us apart. I believe that humans no longer need hair, weak backs, nails, etc. Our rapid transformation has changed the way we use our bodies and hence we have messed with evolution.
In that process, we have not lost how the amygdala functions and that is just one of the things that ruins our behaviour in a very different world of the 21st century. May be it makes sense to be carnal and detached. May be it makes sense to be utterly selfish in a Galt sort of way. It makes sense to utilise our human resources towards more forms of research just for the fun of it instead of earning money which ceases to have meaningful utility beyond a certain point.

I want to travel. I want to write. I want to eat interesting food. Meet interesting people. Drink an interesting form of alcohol. Engage in an affair with an incredibly hot woman, preferably non-human. And yes, I would be OK with dying before I get to do any of that.

Why is it wrong to rape a woman whereas it is acceptable to see a dog raping a bitch? Raping female humans was not wrong 3000 + years ago. Marrying more than one female was also not wrong, not so long ago. Beating up women was also not wrong. Morals have changed.
What Hitler did is so ghastly even now for the Western world, but not so much for many parts of the Eastern World and I would think that many Africans would think of it as a much better way to die than in stories they have heard.
We tend to associate ourselves with certain forms of humans. If a woman was raped in a Middle Eastern country and a woman was raped in Sweden - the reactions to both stories would be vastly different even though both women are equally unknown to the reader in Indonesia.

Why are Saudi Arabians becoming obese? Why are many Africans frail? Why are women not interested in creating children? Why are men attracted to other men? What happened to all the painters and musicians? What is the utility of living life as a stock-trader? Why do some humans lose interest in sex? Why are some humans interested in having sex with children? Why do humans work multiple hours a day in less-than-contentment when they have sufficient money to live a good life? Why do people get married when marriage is a god-related institution and god-itself is perceived to be a myth by many humans? Why are there more temples/ shrines than public urinals in India? Why do we accept atrocities of the mental kind? What is wrong about breaking a human relationship? How does it matter if society does not see the good in you, when you know yourself to be fabulous? Why should we tip at the end of a meal when a tip before the meal makes more sense in terms of incentivizing the server?

I have many questions but I don't need answers to many of them. I have one life and I refuse to play along. But I secretly do.

The Invasion

I saw the movie The Invasion and as ridiculous as the movie is, it is thought-provoking. Humans are, seemingly, the only creatures who truly appreciate colour, art, design, music, emotions, intelligence, discovery, etc. When I sit at times and stare at the world around me I see how improbable it is that humans exist, how improbable it is that we are such a dominant species and how improbable it is that all of this is real.

When I say that, I immediately think of, 'Does it matter?'. Does it matter whether everything around us is real ? Would we be different if we were slaves inside a matrix? See, we wouldn't know would we?
Why is this post here? Because, the movie made me think of what humans would be with their humanity stolen... everybody systematic, everything in harmony, no emotions. You see, pleasantness is appreciated when the unpleasant phase is passed through. Happiness is appreciated when bad times are driven away. It is magical to be human and still so disgusting.

We spend our time in atrocious ways and it saddens me deeply. I was happy when I spoke to my American friend the other day and he told me about his 8 day hike to the summit of Mt. Whitney in California. He works for ADM but he loves the rough life, may be it's a great escape to that which is actually real. I have written about the futility of life earlier and this movie reminded me of how precious humanity can be. I miss my crazy laughter. When did you last get out of your city and see something utterly gorgeous? When were you last truly alone?

Find your call

A loss of passion and illiteracy describe our time. Machines we be and disillusioned we are.
We understand how to work on excel sheets and write codes; we know how to sell products and how to design buildings but we know very little of who we are, who our ancestors used to be and what the world used to be a mere 200 years ago.
Knowledge of that which is capitalistically useless is quite crucial. There is no crawl and no bewilderment. We are not amazed with new buildings, new machines or new infrastructure. We are enchanted by nature only to capture it in our small photographs. Conversations are restricted to daily chores and mind-numbing gossip sprinkled with the occasional 'knowledge' of that which is useful for success.
Success as a term has lost its relevance because we just cannot sit still. Just look at yourself when in a movie theatre or at home. Things have changed and society has become a glazed shadow of its glorious past when people worked for something truly mighty.

Unshackle

There is something horribly wrong about spending a large chunk of one's day on a computer as opposed to society-oriented work like film-making or reviewing art forms, but not something like cold-calling or boring marketing...
The glory of life is so easily shut out under numbing conditions like succumbing to a work-life. The pursuit of money and of filling up a day with something that is meant to be meaningful (and which very often isn't) may ruin me which is why I take steps to think rationally (something I hope I'm good at but am sure most are not).
Knowing what work can be in a place like Bombay, it pains me to see so many people enslaved, ignorant of the raw beauty of meeting somebody new or seeing something new or at least something different.
It is so easy (as I have seen myself there) to get engaged in a mundane activity which bears no real fruit - but in that moment, it means a lot. "I'm learning" or "I'm getting paid for this" or "I have to do this quickly so my boss is not unhappy with me".
I miss my vacation. It's time for another trip. Going next Friday :)

The Futility of it All

"We are fated to pretend" - MGMT
There is a monotony to life which was encapsulated well by an older man I once spoke to; he said, "Everyone lives like that, why does he think he can live differently."
As one grows older, and I have seen it with a few people, one tends to accept the flow of life and the fact that the ambitions and freedom of a younger age are momentary.
Too many people succumb and hopefully I (and you) don't look back with disgust at this post. Fighting is important and fighting the norm is crucial, it's what makes life - for humans, at least.
'Recreation' has an odd place in Indian diction; outings are social events and social events are largely mandatory.
There is a strong global movement of people going back to themselves and nature, to independence and solitude, to self-actualization and respite from the race - the race that has eaten the very essence of our desire to live.
The futility is in the pursuit of that extra unit of currency. It is a topic I think of ceaselessly and speak of continually. At the expense of hoarding more space on the internet I will say that making a living is essential but forgetting to live is sacrilege.
Earning a living becomes a habit and people refuse to look back or look away or step back to get a better view - the same society, the same neighbourhood, the same commute and yet people get by. Why? Because getting by is what everyone, and I mean everyone, does.

Some of my friends have lambasted my thoughts and/ or my actions for being outrageous or naive or privileged. Many believe that I am a 'wannabe' - with a negative connotation. But I am a wannabe with a whatever connotation. I want to be closer to nature, I want to experience a few of nature's showcases, I want to meet new people and I want to breathe some fresh air, I want to go for Oktoberfest in September of 2011 and I will find a way to go there.

I was writing yesterday, it's something I love; I wrote of limiting restrictions. I hate being answerable to a boss and may be that is a very Gujarati trait in me... I hope that I don't fall for a girl who is ever going to truly doubt my sincerity or restrict my simple desires for travel - that is a massive expectation. So I'm going to be single till I am 47 years old. Alas. Not something I want, which is why I will change my behaviour and limit my eccentricities.

This is an example of letting go of something glorious for something more glorious.
Somewhere, people have it all down in a weird way... "I will take 2-day break from office even though my boss hates it and I will go to Lonavala!!! There, I will eat at Smokin' Joes." Exaggeration - yes. Is it alright to be afraid of being frowned upon and ridiculed for being too carefree with life? Yes. Only because we live in a country where people are aggressive about attaining things - the competition is so fierce that one has to continually outperform. It's a miracle that the IT related jobs came to India, otherwise the pay scales used to be hilarious (They still are I should say).
People don't realise it often but they work for a pittance even though companies can afford something more wholesome for their employees. But people are commodities in India and hence, are not valued. It's something, I believe, that will never change.

So, do we accept this sitting down? We don't have much of a choice do we? Leaving the country is daunting - O with all the burden of family and marriage and Indian food and Indian customs.

My request to all the deadening souls out there - spend a little of what you are earning on something that will last you well. My friend exclaimed the other day, "What fool spends 15 Lac Rupees on a car??!!! - that's insane." And I thought, "Yes, it is. And that same person will think twice about buying a plane ticket to Goa for the weekend. That same person will be outraged at a proposition of spending Rs 50,000 for a vacation."
That is the sad reality of Indian behaviour. It's sad because there is a melancholic monotony to our lives.

For all its evils, I love India and I love what Indians are capable of enduring and creating. I hate the culture that values rote-learning and discipline. I hate the system that encourages paperwork and long lines. I hate the apathy that people have towards things more than 5 minutes away from them - I belong to this club.

I might have to endure terrible pain in the very near future - I might be diagnosed with cancer or suffer from a life-changing injury. I might become a pauper or I might lose my sight. I might have to suffer the loss of people close to me and may be this world ends in 2012. I might suffer from bronchitis or my liver might fail (I won't be able to have wine, bourbon or wheat beer then :( ). Is it wrong for me to want a little adventure and dream just a little? If it's not wrong for me then it isn't wrong for you.
Yes there are restrictions. But please put your foot down and find your spine. Rebellion is glorious. Pain is cruel. Rebel before you succumb.

The Simple things

I have written in the past about this on my other blog (Khadda) but may be it makes sense for me to write them separately.
I was watching Boston Legal today - a very smart series revolving around legal practices. Today's episode, from the second season, spoke of a woman suing a video game firm because her child died while playing it. The boy had been playing it for 36 hours straight without rest, food, etc. and suffered a heart attack by the end of it. The game was known to increase dopamine levels - dopamine is associated with pleasure and addiction. The mother had been working 2 jobs daily to make 'ends meet' and hence could be said to have been neglecting her child.

The simple things:
A young child is at home playing a 'game' on a television. The game revolved around being born as a ghost, getting through hell and finding his soul just to be alive.
The alternate reality that a lot of us are living right now is appalling.

We have facebook and online poker and 'farmville' games, alternate personas, computer games, a hectic work life... where did we disappear?

The mother in the above story seems to have barely had a social or family life. Why?
Capitalism has changed the way we are living and it is difficult to question the way we live...
Do we question why we are making money or why we have fake friends or why we give so much importance to useless people or why we choose emotional servitude over independence?

The simple things have been forgotten.